The 10 things I learned from Tony Robbins
Don’t drink bad wine, if you do, Tony would say – “You always will get what you tolerate! “ . I mentioned last time, that I have met in person five great men last year – Tony Robbins, Seth Godin, James Altucher, Ramit Sethi and Daymond John and I would like to write about them.
How many of us think in January that things should be better, different, happier. Yes, we start every New Year with the determination to take action that will change us and our lives. This is what I did last January, but in order to make the leap and get the right direction, I knew I needed help and to learn from the people, who I adore, follow and are my mentors. It is now fashionable to summarise great men’s wisdom, therefore I felt I should do it too.
To see Tony Robbins live has been a dream come true for me and yes, when you meet this big guy in every sense and he gives you a hug and a kiss, and spends time with you talking about your story … you can just instantly fall in love. I want to share with you 10 things, that I have taken from his London event Unleash the Power Within.
- Learn from the best, pay the best coach, the best teacher, or read the best in business if you can’t afford face time with the trainer or the coach.
- Immerse yourself! To master what you need to do requires “Total immersion”. Want to speak a language – go and do it in the country and focus on doing only this. Learning over a long period of time, sporadically is not effective.
- Beliefs – Limited beliefs means: limited lifestyle, limited wellbeing, limited connections, limited happiness, limited everything…If you find excuses and reasons not to do something, you will just be angry of yourself.
Not enough money, not enough education, not good looking enough, not enough connections, not lucky enough.. – these are excuses, which limit your beliefs! To believe that you are not enough is not helpful! If you keep exercising a “bad muscle”, repeating the same crap all the time to yourself this will become your permanent state and you will believe in it. Thoughts are like muscles, the more you exercise them, the stronger they get. We choose our positive or negative thoughts, inspirational thoughts or suicidal thoughts. Negative thinking is bad, because negativity brings anxiety, anxiety in life affects our decision making process, makes us angry and unlocks illnesses, including depression.
- Put yourself in a “Happy State of Mind” and obtain “Peak State”. This sounds a bit crazy and fun, and it is fun if you apply it. Please try it. React with a smile when people expect anger or frustration. Think how many times you have made the wrong decision, because you have been miserable, down, physically unfit and unhappy. Just observe yourself and compare, try to put yourself in a “Peak state”. The easiest way to do it is to go and try something physical. Jump, run, dance, go out for a walk or breathe intensively. What I do is go for fast walk, dance at home, go on my trampoline in the garden. Follow Wim Hof’s (The Iceman)- breathing exercises. Google him, if you haven’t heard about this guy.
- Identify your needs, this was life changing realisation for me. What is important for you is determining your state of mind, the decisions you make will serve you through life. Ask yourself a simple question: Are you in control of your needs or not? For example: Do you want to feel appreciated and significant – things that do not depend on your judgment and are not in your control. Do you need to contribute and to grow for example? – these are need, which are entirely dependent on your own actions?
Tony has described 6 essential needs, that we choose and prioritise in order to feel comfortable with ourselves, happy with what we do, where we go and the choices we make.
Need of Certainty, Need of Significance, Need of Love/Connection, Need of Variety, Need of Growth, Need of Contribution
What are your most important two needs, try to identify these. According to Tony – people who value certainty and significance in life will live radically different life and interact in a completely different way, than someone who’s priority is love and contribution. On other hand people, who choose Certainty and Significance are most likely to be unhappy and struggle in life. As a personal note from me – I felt chocked and grateful I have come to understand these essential needs.
- Try to find your passion – This is crucial for you to fuel your drive. To me, finding my passion is number one on my list. Passion brings everything, taste for life, drive for finding happiness, aspirations to be someone and pleasure for what you want to do. I personally always had a passion for travel and writing for food and wine, interesting people, art and architecture. I was scared to write in English, as I thought I was not good enough. I now started to write my own blog and my passion for great wines and amazing food has been realised by curating new wine tasting experiences through music and art. Now I call myself an experience creator, because I am doing it and people around me love it.
- Be Decisive. Raise your standards and don’t drink bad wine anymore. Tony is saying “You get what you tolerate”! In order to commit, to resolve and to achieve what you are dreaming of…you need to decide that you want it. I had been very hesitant in life and realised how much time I have wasted, just because I was worried about doing the right thing. You can make it happen, when you decide and take action.
- Dance with your fears! Take an action. Successful people differ from the others in the way they take an action, regardless of the risk. They don’t wait until things are perfect, until they are ready, until it is sunny, until Christmas etc. Jump and see what will happen next. There is no “ifs” and “buts” and thoughts about what people think about you, how it would look, and what will happen if this fails…Failure is part of our growth. We learn and we get stronger and better next time.
- Focus totally and master everything you do. Total focus is something I needed to learn and took me a long time. This is a big challenge and we all need to work on it every day, sometimes being distracted is fun, easy and a good excuse.
Life is like winemaking. You get to decide and commit first, then research, find out who can give you the best lesson, the best advice. Then clear the canvas and put the agenda together. In winemaking you depend on the season, on the year, on the soil and most importantly on what you like to do and you are passionate about. Then you get the right equipment, focus on the process, a day earlier or a day later can change everything. Observe, monitor and where you encounter challenges- resolve them. Then listen to the wine and taste it, measure the alcohol levels, the sugar levels and the temperature of the cellar. In winemaking, care and attention is a must and total focus is crucial. What makes winemaking so special is the passion of what you do and the sharing of the end result.
- Your Relationship is everything, it’s your bridge over the wild waters of life and the boat, that takes you to explore exciting new territories.
We all need the right person to share those journeys and follow the route, we have chosen.There should be love, excitement and passion. Tony talks a lot about his relationships and he is often saying that your relationship should be vibrant and caring as it was the very beginning. Tony often repeats: “If it not as it was at The Beginning …it means it is The End”
As a finale to this blog sharing values and vision with the people we deeply love and connect has the biggest impact on our health and wellbeing.